


Moon Eyes

by bestelitecouple



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic, Domestic Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, POV Female Character, Sad Dan Howell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 03:40:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11432400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestelitecouple/pseuds/bestelitecouple
Summary: Moon Eyes: State of romantic adoration to a sickening extent, typically demonstrated by couples with extreme infatuation with one another and extreme disregard for the comfort of any one else in the room. Often accompanied with PDA and general lack of friends.Or an au-but nina that isn’t an au- where no one suspects anything until Louise overhears a particular conversation at three o’clock in the morning. (inspired by a post from cafephan on tumblr)





	Moon Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very very much to @comicphans on tumblr for being a superstar beta, and for @librarylester on tumblr for encouraging me to write it and hearing me talk about it for so long! I’ve been writing this for quite a while so I’m so happy to be finally posting it! I hope you guys enjoy it!

It’s an accident when Louise finds out.

 

They’re gathered in the London Duplex, for their bi-weekly movie night. The pair usually holds the event simply because they’re the only ones that have enough space for it, as Bryony lives in a small London flat across the street from a sport centre, and Pj, Louise, and Wirrow's homes are crowded townhouses in Brighton. Dodie often joins in as well, but because her tour began last week, she’s been traveling around America almost every day, and unfortunately leaving Bryony and Louise to cope with the men.

 

That doesn’t mean that Louise isn’t perfectly fine with that, though. She knows that when it comes down to it, they all are kind, gentle and good, despite acting otherwise whenever they’re near each other. It’s just men being men —  a standard and crazy aspect of her life that she’s become quite content with.

 

However, there’s something different about tonight that she can’t put her finger on.

 

The others normally arrive around seven, and today wouldn’t be any different. Dan and Phil would be in the mid dle of to setting up big fluffy blankets and an abundance of pillows across the old couch when they trudged into the flat, and like always, the guests would be greeted with hugs and cheek kisses. Once everyone settled into comfortable positions, they’d enjoy some snacks with an open a bottle of red wine and then proceed to indulge by drinking the entire thing within a relatively short time-span. Then they’d begin watching a variety of 80’s-esque type movies and they’d all usually end up sleeping overnight, waking up with hangovers and blurry recollection of the night before.

 

It’s always the same, a routine that’s stuck for as long as she can remember. If that hadn’t changed, what was it?

 

Louise jumps at the sound of laughter erupting from behind her.

 

They’re all sitting as they normally do, a few of them squeezing together to fit on the tiny sofa, while the others take refuge on various chairs across the floor, draped in blankets, and lounging on top of the pillows the two had brought down earlier. It’s around three in the morning as of now, and PJ is curled onto a grey beanbag on the middle of the wooden-tiled floor, and Wirrow, straying not too far ahead of him, lays back in a comfortable position on an identical one. Both are fast asleep, however, the only telltale sign to prove this statement is the occasional snores that slip from both of their lips. Bryony is asleep next to Louise, using her arm as a prop-up of her head, though she’s also asleep. Louise is assuming she fell asleep too after that third glass of wine because of the sticky-feeling eyeliner under her eyes and by running through her fingers through her tangled hair.

 

She’s about to sit up when she hears the unmistakable soft giggling again, only this time she knows who it is.

 

She isn’t sure why, but at that moment it seems to be a brilliant idea to listen in. Her sober self is begging her to turn over and go back to sleep before the hangover sets in, but intoxicated Louise is already far too intrigued. She doesn’t have really much time to make a decision anyways, and before she can even realize it, she’s on her feet and gently tip-toeing towards the kitchen wall to peek around without being seen.

 

“What a life we’ve made.” His voice is filled with what she recognises as  _ love _ . She can see how much his appearance reflects it too; a mess of curls falling down the sides of his face, rosy cheeks from the flush of alcohol, and just as passionate and prideful in the shadows that are casted by the candles lit in the middle of the kitchen table.

 

“Yeah.” She briefly wonders if they’re always like this after everyone is asleep, despite feeling slightly intrusive on their special moment of reflection as Phil hands Dan a mug filled with something hot, before sitting down beside him. They have a right to be proud with all they’ve accomplished, but Louise can’t help but feel there’s more to Dan’s words than she really knows of.

 

“Hey Dan?” The whisper seems to be louder than it actually is, probably because their laughter has stopped, and the piercing sound of quiet filled the air afterwards which made Louise feel slightly more uncomfortable than earlier.

 

“Mhm?” Dan slurs out in exhaustion, with a small yawn following suit. Wine always made Dan sleepy, Louise knew this from countless outings where he’d order it at restaurants and then proceed to pass out in the car afterwards.  

 

“I’m so glad that I chose you.”

 

“I’m glad that you chose me too.” They both giggle again, Phil intertwining their hands as both drink slowly out of their mugs, looking out the window at the moonlight seeping in through the curtains of the window. It’s a strange sight to see the two of them together like this, so casual and calm in a familiar environment, unlike Louise remembers in the past, when their friendship was rocky and they were both acting far too careful. 

 

Louise never knew how the two really felt for each other, she’s never really gotten a  _ clear  _ answer, but she fears through what she’s looking in on that she’s about to receive one that she wasn’t really supposed to.

 

“Shut up, you dingus, I’m trying to appreciate you.” Dan turns towards Phil then, looking up at him with these, these _moon_ _eyes_ , the ones that everyone knows of, and yet, somehow Louise knows that these aren’t quite the same. They’re something she’s never seen before. But that’s not the main difference in why this time is unlike the others. The main difference in this time is that Phil is giving him the exact same eyes _back_ , before they both burst into laughter again. Phil’s gaze is bold and passionate, much like Dan’s is, instead of his usual shy, occasional glances in videos.  

 

“Well go on then, appreciate me.” Dan teases before looking up at Phil patiently, and a slight smile spread across his face, but his eyes genuinely curious on what Phil was about to say, and frankly, Louise found herself curious too.

 

She shouldn’t be doing this, this is so  _ wrong _ , such an  _ invasion of privacy _ , but she  _ can’t stop watching _ .

 

Louise is such a horrible friend.

 

“You’re so hardworking, you put yourself entirely into everything we do, and even when I think you're about to give up, you somehow work even harder.” 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Yeah. You’re far too harsh on yourself, love, I could never push myself through things the way you do. And not even just that. Sometimes I ask you to do things with me and even though you don’t want to do them, you still do them to the best of your ability. You’re always 100% into everything and I don’t think I could ever do that. But I guess, I guess that’s why I’m glad I chose you.” 

 

“Because I try to do shit with you even when I don’t want to?” Dan asks, and Phil chuckles before taking Dan’s other hand.

 

“ _ Because you’d do anything to make me happy _ .” Phil sounds breathless, he looks it too, and it catches Louise so off-guard that she doesn’t even know how to react. She didn't think that this was where it’d be going, she definitely didn’t think that it would be Phil pouring out his emotions like that, and yet, that’s where they are right now. It’s somewhat beautiful to hear Phil this open with his feelings about  _ anything _ , especially with his feelings about Dan. He’s never really been one to open up about how he feels, more or less he just listens because that’s the type of person he is. It’s nice to hear him so happy and genuine; Louise wishes he’d do that more often. However, she’s glad in a way that she’s seeing him do that. 

 

“Well I like making you happy; making you happy makes me happy.” 

 

“Does it?”

 

“How could it not? You’ve always been exactly what I needed. I wasn’t in the best place when I met you back then, you know that. I had a crummy family life and was at a complete loss for what to do with myself. But you always had me look at the bright side, though you’d never sugarcoat it. You were honest in the advice you’d give me, honest in the way you’d felt about me, and I’m pretty sure if you hadn’t kept that honesty I wouldn’t be here right now.”

 

“Really?”

 

“You rose my spirits. I was always in a good hopes after talking to you. The same still applies to now.” Dan pauses, letting go of one of Phil’s hands to let his fingers run across Phil’s left cheek, and with this action, Louise is at yet another loss of coherent thoughts. 

 

“You gave me hope for the future. It’s why I work so hard to please you.”

 

“Dan-”   
  


“You’ve given me a life I never could have dreamed of, all because you were willing to take a chance on some angsty kid who liked your videos. I can’t imagine myself anywhere else; though, I wish I could do something of the same greatness, so I work as hard as I can to make you happy, because that’s my way of trying to give back.” 

 

“You don’t have to do that, Dan-”

  
  
“It doesn’t feel right if I don’t. I owe you so much-”

 

“You don’t owe me anything, love. I chose you, remember?” Dan bites his lip at the same time Louise bites hers because she’s definitely muffed up badly now. She needs to leave immediately; she can’t stay and invade their privacy even more. 

 

“ _ I’d do it all again, just for you. _ ”

 

And in that moment, Phil just looks so damn  _ fond _ , the statement so heavy, meaningful, and honest that it makes Louise tear up in her tired and drunken state. That was all it took to almost bring Louise to some kind of emotional meltdown.  

 

So she starts to slowly and quietly back away.

 

“ _ Come here _ .” Phil opens his arms and Dan’s hips fit right in them, and Phil grabs Dan’s jaw to plant an off-centered kiss to Dan’s lips.

 

Louise’s slow thoughts finally catches up to her, letting her know that yes, they were a thing, and it hits Louise so hard in that very moment that she almost gasps out all the air she has. It feels like they’ve been going around in circles trying to get any answers about how the two feel about each other, and to now finally get a clear answer has Louise kind of shook.

 

And not only that, but she realizes just how uncomfortable of a situation she’s found herself in, that she’s currently listening in on her friends confessing their everlasting love for each other when they hadn’t even told her! Louise doesn’t know what to think. 

 

One half of her is overjoyed because they are a couple, a cute one at that, and they love each other very much, it’s apparent in the way they act. She knew they liked PDA, finding every excuse to touch each other, though she didn’t think they’d be this touchy romantically too. But another half of her is mad they hadn’t told her, hadn’t told anyone as far as she knew, just kept it to themselves this entire time. 

 

She feels a little betrayed that they hadn’t trusted her enough to tell her their secret; they’ve been together longer than they’ve ever known her, PJ, or anyone they were friends with really, but she figures she does vlog quite a lot and has been shown to be a bad secret keeper with the multiple situations she’s gotten herself into because of spilling something she wasn’t supposed to. They certainly have a right not to tell her; it is their relationship after all, but she still can’t help but feel out of the loop.

 

“I’m sorry.” Dan says once they break away, hiding beneath his curls. She’s confused, not quite understanding what Dan’s apologizing for. Phil had already cleared the air and let it be known there was nothing for Dan to owe.

 

But then Phil replies, “There’s nothing to be sorry about, darling, you're all I need.” 

 

“But you can’t show that.”

 

“No, I can’t.” 

 

And Louise’s heart breaks. She realizes that Dan and Phil aren’t out simply because of the fact that they don’t feel like they  _ can be _ .

 

Louise understands that completely, with the fanbase that they have; there’s no way she can think of, that they can come out safely without some type of shitstorm resulting from it. People have been shipping them for years, assuming they’re together, and at one point, that may have been insulting. People making assumptions without getting to know you was one of the downsides of being a Youtuber, but because of the position they were in, they must be absolutely miserable. 

 

“It would be easier if you chose someone else.” Dan replies, Phil shaking his head immediately before pulling Dan in his arms again for a hug.

 

“But I didn’t want to choose anyone else, I chose you.” Dan looks so small in Phil’s arms, so unsure and frightened, he almost reminded her of Darcy when she had a nightmare and would crawl into her bed. The image itself was heartbreaking, watching the two in the only place they thought they had privacy, and here Louise is, ruining the only sacred place they had. Now she felt extremely guilty.

 

“Wine always makes you doubtful, my love, you really need to stop drinking it.” Phil chuckles gently, Dan nodding into his shoulder as Phil presses another kiss to Dan’s cheek. 

 

Now all Louise can imagine is all the times they drank wine together, all of the times Dan must’ve gone home and been scared with where they were, been doubtful of what they’d had, been worried about Phil and guilty about not being able to repay him. She suddenly feels very very bad, because she’s probably initiated dozens of conversations like this between them without meaning to.

 

“Let’s get some rest, okay?” Phil stands up from his chair, followed by a very groggily Dan.

 

“Carry me?” He asks, his arms out and his mouth forming into a pouty lip. Louise almost giggles, but then realizes if she doesn’t go back right now they’d see her, so she sprints as quietly as she can back to Phil’s room and lays down next to Bryony, pretending to be asleep as she hears Phil’s footsteps against the carpet.

 

She hears a gentle thud onto the air mattress to her right, and Louise knows it’s probably Phil placing Dan onto it as she hears another sound from it, likely Phil getting on it as well. She hears blankets rustling and the air mattress is squeaking some more, them probably getting adjusted, until it stops suddenly, and she hears a quick kissing sound coming from beside her.

  
  
“Goodnight, Dan.” 

 

“Night, Phil.” 

.

She falls asleep for a bit, then waking up again as the sun rose and sunlight shone through the curtains. Louise groans, rubbing her eyes like before, and sitting up, seeing Dan and Phil now apart; Dan facing one side of the mattress and Phil facing the other. 

 

Louise wonders if it was all a dream, but decides to ignore the possibilities because she’s still slightly sleepy, instead getting up carefully from Phil’s bed and tip-toeing into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee, as she’s always the first one awake and Phil had given her full permission to raid the kitchen for food and drinks early on in their tradition. 

 

She grabs a hello-kitty mug from the cabinet and turns on the coffee machine, popping in the coffee she likes and hitting the start button. She grabs the milk out of the fridge and turns around to go back to her coffee when she sees Dan sitting at the breakfast bar, rubbing his eyes and sending Louise a wave in greeting as she jumps slightly. 

 

It’’s a strange sight, as Dan and Phil are usually the last ones awake, still sleeping by the time everyone else is awake and on their ways home, but Louise thinks that now could be purposeful after what she had witnessed last night.

 

She’s a little scared because maybe Dan knows that she knows, but waves as casually as she can back, before pouring some milk into her coffee and stirring it with a spoon.

 

“You’re up quite early.” She remarks to Dan, grabbing another mug, a pikachu mug, from the cupboard and beginning to make another cup of coffee for Dan.

 

“Mhm. Had a particularly bad hangover, figured you would too.” He replies as he slides over some advil to Louise, who realizes she has a hangover too and a bad one at that, and takes the advil with a swig of coffee.

 

“Thanks.” 

 

“Mhm.” 

 

They sit in silence for a bit, as it’s early and neither can really work up the energy to speak for extended periods of time, which is fine for Louise because she thinks the less she talks, the better off she is. 

 

Louise wants to say something, something that will drop every doubt Dan has about telling at least some people of their relationship. It isn’t healthy to keep something like that to themselves, especially for such a long time (as it seems to be). She isn’t really sure what she wants to say, but she wants to help Dan. He is one of her close friends after all.

 

“Hey Dan?” She asks, Dan looking up and giving Louise a tired nod.

 

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Dan looks somewhat confused at the seemingly out of nowhere topic, but shakes his head.

 

“Of course Lou.” 

 

“But I mean that Dan, if you ever are having any trouble or if you’re feeling overwhelmed, you know you can always come to me, don’t you?” Dan makes a face, causing Louise to begin to sweat a little, but Dan nods once more.

 

“What’s up? What’re you hiding?” He asks, suspicious, but Louise doesn’t give herself away, and instead shrugs.

 

“Nothing, I just, I figured I’d let you know every once in awhile; I know how you get sometimes, so I just wanted to let you know you can always come to me in case you need to.” She replied, before Dan reaches over and gives her a hug, Louise squeezing hard back.

 

“Thank you Lou, I really appreciate that. The same goes for you too, dear.” Dan replies, and they pull away just in time for Bryony to walk into the kitchen, hair a mess and hungover as hell.

 

“Someone make breakfast, I can’t do anything!” She groans before making her way towards the living room and plopping down onto the couch facefirst.

 

Everyone else starts waking up after that, apart from Phil. They watch some early morning cartoons, and eat eggs and bacon that Louise made for breakfast. They joke with each other and all take amounts of advil that are far too large than they should be taking. 

 

One by one, they all begin to file out, up until it’s just Louise and Dan again, both cleaning up the mess their friends made across the two rooms. Louise grabs her things and gets ready to go, taking out her phone to text the babysitter that she’ll be home in a little while. 

 

She shouts goodbye as she moves towards the front door of the apartment, before realizing she’d forgotten her wallet on the kitchen counter and goes to retrieve it. She walks in to see  bleary-eyed Phil wrapped up in a hug from behind, Dan’s arms tight around Phil’s waist.

 

She could feel her face flush as she grabs it off the table, Dan giving her a gentle smile, cheeks still red from being caught in the act.

 

“Make it home safe, Lou,” he says, almost sounding flustered. But she gives another smile, nodding before kissing both boys cheeks before giving a small wave and beginning to walk away.

 

“Say hi to Darcy for me.” Phil yawns, and she and Dan giggle at the barely understandable sentence. 

 

“Of course.” She replies as Dan plants a quick kiss on Phil’s cheek when he thinks Louise isn’t looking, but she pretends not to see it for their sake.

 

“See you next weekend!” She calls out by the door before shutting it behind her. 

 

She stops for a minute, smiling outside of their apartment as she hears Dan giggling and running from inside.

 

“I’m so gonna get you!” Phil shouts from the other side of the closed door.

 

“Over my dead body!” Dan says before he starts shrieking, her hearing more loud stomps before she hears gentler feet make their way back onto the ground.

 

“Told you I’d get you.”

 

“I’m glad that you did.” 

 

Maybe it isn’t so bad for them to keep it to themselves.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too, you giant dork.”

 

“Hey!”

 

As long as her friends are happy, that’s all she really cares about. 


End file.
